I Slap Floor
by daphrose
Summary: Donald has pledged to give away all his money to charity. Perry is helping stray puppies find homes. Adam is pondering the mysteries of life. Bree is encouraging her family in their new pursuits. Chase and Caitlin are madly in love. Just another normal day at the bionic island. Wait. . . .
**Greeting fellow Internetalopians! :P Yeah, I dunno. So anyway, I've been coming and going from this fandom, eh? Well, I've recently become obsessed with Zootopia, so I've been writing/reading over there some. Come check out my stories of that movie if you enjoyed it. :)**

 **So anyway, this is a story I meant to write** ** _last year_** **, but I forgot about it. So here it is now! Finally! It's based off an episode of a radio drama called Adventures in Odyssey. The episode is also titled I Slap Floor, and I took the basic premise and put it in Lab Rats. Just so you know, the basic plot is not mine. ;) I'm not sure if this one-shot turned out the best, but at the same time, I feel like it's all right to make this particular story crappy. . . . For all you know, it's on purpose. ;)**

 **Also, this takes place after On the Edge but before And Then There Were Four. So no Daniel. (Actually, I completely forgot him. Whoops. XD)**

 **So I'm sure you're very curious to see what that summary's all about. Well, let's get on with it, shall we? I don't own Lab Rats or Adventures in Odyssey. Enjoy!**

* * *

 *** * * I Slap Floor * * ***

* * *

"Hey, Douglas," Leo said as he exited the hyrdoloop. "Where is everyone?"

"Eh, they're all resting," Douglas said as he typed a few things into the computer. "Where have you been?"

"I was back home with Mom all weekend. Did you not notice I was gone?"

"Hmm. I guess not."

Leo rolled his eyes and shouldered his duffel bag. "I'm going to go put my stuff away."

"I wouldn't head into the mentor quarters right now."

"And why not?"

"Because your siblings are still trying to recover from the past few days."

"Recover?" Leo raised an eyebrow and walked closer to his step-uncle. "What happened?"

Douglas let out a sharp laugh. "What hasn't happened?"

Leo threw his bag onto the desk and took a seat. "All right, Douglas, spill. What's going on?"

"Well, if you insist on knowing. . . ." Douglas leaned back and turned to face his nephew. "It all started after you left, when Sebastian came back to the island . . ."

* * *

"Mr. Davenport, what is _he_ doing back here?" Bree hissed.

"Sebastian showed exemplary behavior in prison, Bree," Donald said, looking to his children and some of the other students who had come up. "I'm letting him come back to the island."

"Prison gives you a lot of time to think," Sebastian said before anyone could jump in and bash him. "I'm _really_ sorry for everything I've done to you guys, and I want a chance to make it up to you."

"He tried to _kill_ you and you're still okay with this?" Chase asked his father.

Donald shrugged. "Hey, he's apologized for his past behavior. Besides, he still doesn't have his bionics, so it's not like he's a threat."

"I say give the kid a chance," Douglas said, leaning against the post. "People change. Look at me!"

"Still as creepy as ever," Bree mumbled.

"Just one more chance," Sebastian said. "If I mess up, send me back. But I want to make it up to you."

"Fine," Chase grumbled, "but we're still not friends."

"I understand."

"Yeah, and FYI, I don't like you anymore." Bree wrinkled her nose. "Especially with that smell. Did they not let you take showers in prison?"

"Oh, that's cologne. One of the guards lent it to me. I-I thought it would help me make a good impression."

"Only the impression of being trapped in a compost facility." Bree coughed a took a step back.

"Don't worry, Sebastian, I'll be your friend," Adam said, throwing his arm around the newcomer. "And don't worry; weird smells don't bother me at all."

* * *

"Sebastian's back here?" Leo asked, looking around frantically. "How could you just let him back so easily?"

Douglas shrugged. "The kid was really regretful about all he did."

"So has he been causing trouble? Is that why everyone needs to recover?"

"Well, not exactly. There's a lot more to the story . . ."

* * *

"So I was thinking about doing a charity benefit for foster kids. I'll ask people to raise money for them and then match whatever they make twice over."

Douglas put up a hand to stop his brother. "Where is all this coming from, Donnie? That doesn't sound like you."

Donald shrugged. "I guess I just want to give back to the community, you know? It's time I started putting all my money to good use."

The hydroloop opened and out stepped Caitlin. The Davenport brothers approached her with care, having heard the stories about the rabid girl.

"Is Bree here?" Caitlin asked. "I just came to get away from my mom for a while, so I'm going to pretend Bree invited me."

"Well, I think she's—"

"Oh, there's Chase. Hey! Dweeb!"

Chase blinked as he entered the room. "Oh, hey Caitlin."

"Yeah, hi. Is your sister around here?"

"I-I think she's back in her—our room."

"Ugh, fine, I guess I'll go back there myself. Later, losers."

Chase stared after her as she went. He turned back to his uncle and father with a strange grin on her face. "Has she always looked that beautiful?"

"What?" Donald asked, lifting an eyebrow.

But Chase was already gone, running down the hall and calling Caitlin's name.

* * *

"Wait, what? Chase can't _stand_ Caitlin!"

"That's what we all thought. But that's not even the weirdest part of this story . . ."

* * *

Perry sighed as she walked into the training room, her chin on her chest. Douglas wanted to ignore her—in fact, his first instincts were to get up and run out of the room, but he managed to stay put. Bree, however, went up to the former principal.

"Perry, what's wrong?"

"Oh, it's just that—I've been feeling like I haven't done enough to make the world a better place."

"You could start by going missing and never coming into contact with a human being ever again," Douglas said with a grin.

"Douglas!" Bree said, glaring at her uncle.

"No, he's right. It seems like all I ever do is make fun of you guys and make people miserable. Well, I want to be done with all that." Perry sat down on the ledge with a huff. "I just don't know how!"

"You could help me." They all looked up to see Donald approaching with a smile on his face. "I'm going to start up a nonprofit organization and use my own money to fund it."

"Really? Who would we be helping?"

"I was thinking either homeless children or homeless puppies."

"Why not both?"

"Yes! I love the way you think, Perry."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Douglas waved his hands around to make a point. "So . . . you two are going to work together on a project that will help people _and_ make no money? A plan that _costs_ you money? And helps _dogs_?"

"That's right!" Donald said with a grin.

Douglas dropped his arms and turned to Bree. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this is abnormal."

"You're right, it is strange," Bree said with a sigh. "But who are we to stand in their way? You guys do whatever you want. I know you'll be great at it."

Donald and Perry left the room as Adam walked in and joined his consternated uncle and grinning sister.

"Hey guys," he said, gnawing on an apple.

"Where have you been?" Bree asked.

"Back in the mentor's quarters, staring at the water and thinking about life."

"That doesn't sound like you."

Adam nodded slowly and took another bite of apple. "Have you ever just sat back and thought about how small you are? Like, there are billions of people on this planet, but you're _you_. How amazing is that?"

Bree lifted her eyebrows, but then she shook her head and said, "Whatever makes you happy, Adam. It's kinda weird, but if you want to think deeply about life, you should do it."

* * *

"Adam said something intelligent? And Bree _encouraged_ him?"

"Freaky, isn't it? And getting back to Chase and Caitlin . . ."

* * *

"Uh . . . what are you two doing?" Douglas asked as he saw Chase and Caitlin curled up together on a picnic blanket.

"Having a picnic," Chase said, tossing a grape into Caitlin's mouth.

"Right, I can see that, but . . . together?"

"That's what couples do, don't they?"

"Couples? As in, boyfriend and girlfriend couples?"

"What else?" Caitlin giggled. "My little Chasey-Wasey is the only one for me!" She bopped her "boyfriend" on the nose.

"And when did this happen, exactly?"

"About twenty minutes ago. I saw Caitlin get off the hydroloop and it was like looking at an exquisite eighteenth century French painting."

"At first I thought it would be crazy, but then I remembered how much I love my little Chasey-Wasey and his nonsensical metaphors."

The two lovebirds sighed.

"Great, now Douglas-Wouglas is going to be sick," Douglas muttered to himself.

"Hey, Douglas, I—whoa," Sebastian said as he came into the foyer. "What's going on with them?"

"I don't know, but everyone's going insane and it's going to make _me_ go insane." Douglas sighed. "What do you want, Sebastian?"

"Oh, well, I just came to tell you that Adam isn't really teaching his class."

"Yeah? What else is new?"

"No, he's staring off into the distance, writing in a journal, and 'reflecting on life.' At least, that's what he says."

Douglas's palm slapped into his forehead. "Do you have any idea why people are acting so strange?"

"No sir."

"I didn't think so. Well, I'm going to find out."

* * *

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Did you find out what was going on?"

"How about you stop interrupting my story and I'll tell you!"

Leo held his hands up in the air in a gesture of innocence.

"Anyway, I called a meeting with everyone to see if we could figure this all out. Weirdly enough, everyone could tell that _others_ were acting weird, but no one could tell that _they_ were acting weird as well . . ."

* * *

"Bree, I'm telling you, this whole 'encouraging attitude' you've adopted is really strange. Since when do you care about us?"

"Look, Chase, I'm fine. I think it's good to encourage others, don't you?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Besides, what about you and Caitlin? I thought you couldn't stand her!"

"Um, no. I actually _adore_ my fiancé, thank you very much."

"Fiancé! I don't remember giving you permission to get married, young man!"

"I'm a legal adult now, Mr. Davenport! Besides, shouldn't you be off rescuing stray animals or something? Or one of those other weird hobbies you've gotten into lately?"

"Um, that weird hobby is called _philanthropy_ , and it's not as weird as getting married to a girl you were calling names just a couple months ago!"

"Love is love, Mr. Davenport. Who are we to question the mysterious ways of the universe!"

"Now is not the time for introspection, Adam!"

"Hey! Just because he's acting weird doesn't mean you should put him down. He's my older brother, okay, and you don't get to speak to him like that!"

"Don! I just got the call from the shelters, and they're so excited to hear that you're giving them your mansion in the Caribbean to house their dogs!"

"Hold it, hold it!" Douglas shouted above the din. "All right. What is wrong with you people? Why are you acting so strange?"

"I'm just fine," Bree protested. "I think people could use a little more love."

"So do I!" Donald said. "That's why Perry and I are giving all we have to support causes we care about."

"I thought the cause you cared most about was you," Chase snorted.

"Hey, Mr. Davenport might be acting strange, but you getting a girl is a mystery of life even _I_ can't solve," Adam said.

"Don't talk to my baby that way!" Caitlin shouted. She began to stroke Chase's hair and whisper sweet nothings into his ear.

"Okay!" Douglas shouted. "We need to figure out what is going on around here, because we're going to be bankrupt and drowning in a cheesy romance subplot if we can't solve this. When did all this start? Were you all drinking out of the ocean or something?"

Adam tapped a pencil on his lip, then lifted it high and shouted, "I've got it!"

Normally people would ignore Adam when he said he had an idea, but based on how the past few days had gone, he might actually have something. He stood up and looked around the room like a detective who had just solved an important case.

"When did all this weird behavior start?"

"Yesterday morning," Douglas said.

"Right. And what happened yesterday morning?"

"The weird behavior started?" Chase said with a shrug.

"Yes, but something else. Think about it. Since when has Bree been so encouraging to others? And Davenport has been generous? And Chase has been flirtatious? And Perry has been _nice_? And I've been _smart_? None of this is normal, and all of it started when _Sebastian_ showed up at the island!"

Everyone turned to look at the newly-arrived former villain. His face dropped and he pointed at himself. "Me? What are you accusing me of? I haven't done anything since I showed up here!"

"Right, but there's been something weird about you since the moment you walked in," Douglas said.

"A weird _smell_. . ." Bree folded her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, she's right, Sebastian," Donald said. "I don't know any of the guards who wear cologne. What's up with that?"

Everyone agreed, looking at Sebastian with suspicion. At first he tried to wave it off, but after a few seconds, he gave up and began to laugh.

"Oh, you think you're all so smart," he said. His voice began to change as the words went on, growing deeper and darker with each syllable. "You figured me out, didn't you? Exposed me? Well, you're not as smart as you think. Took you months to figure me out, enough time for me to learn all the secrets of Davenport Industries! You think you're clever, figuring out Sebastian like that. Well, here's what you didn't expect: There is no Sebastian! He is only my mask. This mask!"

Sebastian's face began to morph, and in a few seconds there before them all stood none other than Victor Krane himself.

"Good evening, everyone," the sinister villain said. "Mind if I join the party?"

* * *

"Krane's alive? And he's back?" Leo squeaked.

"Yeah, but he geoleaped away before we stop him. Turns out he used that mind-altering cologne stuff to keep us off his tail while he got the last bits of information he needed. He disappeared, but we're working on tracking him now. We were able to find an antidote for everyone, but they still need to get their rest."

"That's crazy," Leo muttered, shaking his head. "I can't believe Krane is back! I thought we saw the last of him when he went flying into the atmosphere."

"I guess not."

"Wait . . . there's one thing that's bothering me."

"What's that?"

"Why weren't _you_ affected by the cologne."

"Oh, that's easy: I slap floor."

"Huh?"

"I slap floor."

"That's not even correct grammar."

Douglas shrugged.

"Hey, Leo!" Donald called as he entered the room.

"I've got to work on something important," Douglas said, standing and patting Leo on the back. "See you later, kid."

"Big D!" Leo called, rushing up to his stepfather. "Are you okay? Shouldn't you be resting?"

"From what?"

"From Krane's attack! With the cologne that made everyone crazy! I mean, I'm all for you giving to charity every now and then, but you don't need to sell your houses!"

"Leo, what on earth are you talking about? My houses are my most prized possessions. Except for all this, of course." He ran a hand down his face and grinned.

"Ah, so I see you're still delusional. You need to get to bed."

"Leo, I don't know what you're—"

"Douglas told me all about what happened this weekend, with Sebastian's cologne making everyone go crazy. Although I still don't get why _he_ didn't go crazy. He said it was because he slapped floor."

"He what?"

"That's all he said: 'I slap floor.'"

"I slap floor? I slap . . . oh!" Donald started laughing. "I can't believe he still remembers that, after all these years!"

"What? What's going on?"

Donald chuckled and put a hand on Leo's shoulder. "Leo, go back to the mentors' quarters, get out a piece of paper, write down the words 'I slap floor' and stare at them for a while. Maybe get out a calendar while you're at it." He started to walk away.

"Huh?"

Donald turned around and grinned. "And oh, Leo? Don't believe everything you hear—especially if you hear it from my brother."

* * *

 **Ta-da! :D And if you still don't get it, follow Donald's advice to Leo. And if you** ** _still_** **don't get it, look at the little box with the summary and all the information about the story. Read it through** ** _very carefully_** **. All of it. Not just the summary, but the other stuff about the story, like word count, rating, genre, publication date, etc.**

 **And if the story sucked, well . . . it's Douglas's fault! He was the one telling Leo the story, not me, so . . . yeah, blame Douglas!**

 **Reviews are always welcomed, of course, but not required. I'd love to hear what you thought, if you made you laugh or cry or shake your head in disgust at this poor excuse for literature.**

 **By the way, Mind Games goes up tomorrow morning. It's 18 or 54 chapters long, depending on how you look at it, and over 34,000 words. I think it's pretty neat—one of the best stories I've done in a while. So I hope you'll check that out, so long as you're not the squeamish type. ;)**

 **Anyway, I hope you still enjoyed this one-shot. See you all tomorrow! Have a great day!**

* * *

 **EDIT: I just heard that they're shutting down FF for over a week while they do updates. O.o Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. This is terrible. So, uh, maybe I won't see you tomorrow. Hopefully these updates don't take more than a week . . . you know how FF is. I guess the only thing I can say here is:**

 **I slap floor,**

 **Rosie**

 **(I'm even crueler than Douglas. XD)**


End file.
